i haven't decided yet if i'm more amused or more saddened by the whole raving about the newest dating disaster book, he's just not that into you. i saw an intereview with the male author & his female co-author on the today show a couple months back. a couple of days after that viewing, i happened to be home early from work after a doctor's appointment & came across this same author/co-author team on oprah.
it absolutely baffles me how much we (as women) will marinate in our own self-pity & self-doubt when it's convenient, but will also wallow in our own denial when it's convenient. i can remember in high school stewing over whether so-and-so had an interest in me or not. it was inevitable that if he so much as looked at me one way, i believed he had a thing for me. if he looked at me another way, i assumed he hated me.
why do we allow ourselves to be pulled to & fro by someone's simply action or reaction to us? the only amount of power over us that person maintains is that which we have granted to that person.
getting back to the aforementioned book, i can easily say i've made every single one of the below excuses:
He's afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.
while some of them may have been true to some extent, i believe that once a man begins to believe the level of his interest in a woman, he's willing to push these things aside & forge on. he is willing to be hurt again; to make leaps of faith that may be detrimental to the friendship; to overlook intimidation; & to put forth his best effort to notify you of interest but ask you to give him time to heal from a relationship. the most driven men i know have such a self-worth about them, an aura of confidence, if you will. they will eventually suck up the unpleasant devil-on-your-shoulder atmosphere & step out.
women making excuses for me on these issues is really simply her making excuses for falling for a guy who is not their ideal.
even more amusing are the list of books that "customers who bought this book also bought". there were some winners like Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry "The One" in 3 Years or Less (because of course three years gives you time to finally find somebodysince at the end of that time it's doubtful that you could find your receipt to get your $12.99 refunded), Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams (fascinating, but is it true?), How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You : The Fail-Proof, Fool-Proof Method (i wonder if this works for agoraphobics & if not are they considered fools?), & the piéce de resistance: Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship (a/k/a how to become a bitch! in three years or less!).
why do we lap these things up? i know for a fact many people i know who read these books spend more time, effort & money on these books than on making themselves an interesting person or recognizing that friendships are important when you are/are not dating somebody. in the time women read the four above-referenced books, they could have been out enjoying one of their favorite past-times & met someone with similar interests. without assuming it needs to go from 0 mph to 60 mph in 1.2 seconds, an enjoyable relationship could build, affection could grow, & passion could ignite.
all this coming from a woman who is as impatient as the rest in tying up the loose ends of her life including her romantic life. shout-out to my pseudo-suitor. mwah.
it absolutely baffles me how much we (as women) will marinate in our own self-pity & self-doubt when it's convenient, but will also wallow in our own denial when it's convenient. i can remember in high school stewing over whether so-and-so had an interest in me or not. it was inevitable that if he so much as looked at me one way, i believed he had a thing for me. if he looked at me another way, i assumed he hated me.
why do we allow ourselves to be pulled to & fro by someone's simply action or reaction to us? the only amount of power over us that person maintains is that which we have granted to that person.
getting back to the aforementioned book, i can easily say i've made every single one of the below excuses:
He's afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.
while some of them may have been true to some extent, i believe that once a man begins to believe the level of his interest in a woman, he's willing to push these things aside & forge on. he is willing to be hurt again; to make leaps of faith that may be detrimental to the friendship; to overlook intimidation; & to put forth his best effort to notify you of interest but ask you to give him time to heal from a relationship. the most driven men i know have such a self-worth about them, an aura of confidence, if you will. they will eventually suck up the unpleasant devil-on-your-shoulder atmosphere & step out.
women making excuses for me on these issues is really simply her making excuses for falling for a guy who is not their ideal.
even more amusing are the list of books that "customers who bought this book also bought". there were some winners like Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry "The One" in 3 Years or Less (because of course three years gives you time to finally find somebodysince at the end of that time it's doubtful that you could find your receipt to get your $12.99 refunded), Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams (fascinating, but is it true?), How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You : The Fail-Proof, Fool-Proof Method (i wonder if this works for agoraphobics & if not are they considered fools?), & the piéce de resistance: Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship (a/k/a how to become a bitch! in three years or less!).
why do we lap these things up? i know for a fact many people i know who read these books spend more time, effort & money on these books than on making themselves an interesting person or recognizing that friendships are important when you are/are not dating somebody. in the time women read the four above-referenced books, they could have been out enjoying one of their favorite past-times & met someone with similar interests. without assuming it needs to go from 0 mph to 60 mph in 1.2 seconds, an enjoyable relationship could build, affection could grow, & passion could ignite.
all this coming from a woman who is as impatient as the rest in tying up the loose ends of her life including her romantic life. shout-out to my pseudo-suitor. mwah.
This entry was posted
on 14 April 2005 at 4/14/2005 11:15:00 AM.
You can skip to the end and leave a response.
» Post a Comment