random sass & musing™

i think it's about time people got required licensing for such things as blogging, parenting, mimicking & sarcastiwitting. it would cut down on much turmoil around the world, you know.

i haven't been posting much anywhere on the internet because it seems that people consistently prove their ignorance. somehow in the internet age we have given people faux license to rant & rail about [insert favorite topic here]. people say stupid things. for serious.

a short perusal of the RELEVANT BOARDS can give you your laugh or three for the day. most conversations start on shaky ground, but relatively sane. somehow they take a downward spiral that ends up with screams of "oh yeah, well, your mom!".

as for parenting, i was in the grocery store last night & a woman allowed her child to throw a 10 minute tantrum on the floor which the entire store could hear. an aisle over in the produce section, a man let his approximately 3 year old terror (or son, however you view this little guy) pull on a canteloupe, causing the entire display to pitch forward. he then grabbed his son by one arm, told him that was bad (using a tone more like, "it's a beautiful day outside"), & walked away. without picking up the fallen fruit. i should have a taken a picture of the canteloupe graveyard.

who lets these people have children? who lets billyjoebob & jodiwawasita reproduce when they can't even operate a sliding glass door properly?

licenses. please. anything to prevent poseurs.

finally, there are beautiful people out there who employ great wit & sarcasm. like a shirt that eric wears, "tact is for people who don't have enough wit to be sarcastic". there are a few that i frequent for their hardy abundance of sarcastiwit-infused publication, people like CASEY, THE STEWART, CAMERON (when he's not under construction), MM, & DREW.

i salute you, non-poseurs.
booyah.

(it should be noted that all the people linked on this blog are rather regular reads, but everybody has their own strengths. those that weren't mentioned in the above examples are most certainly not poseurs. linky = non-poseurish. got it?)

RANDOM SASS will UPDATE soonly.

'til then amuse yourself by SPELLING WITH FLICKER.

(pictures forthcoming when life slows down enough. in short, still moving, still in a house under construction, still getting used to life with eric actually in my presence. weird, but good. pics will prove it.)

MOMO tonight. be jealous.

i'm a girl. i know you're surprised. as if my love of pretty, shiny things didn't give it away.

as such, i'm sometimes on the emotional rollercoaster of hormones & sensitivity. i can be poetic one moment & fuming the next. i can be sappy one moment & energized the next. i am a gamut of emotions & an outward gauge for nothing more than my feelings.

but it occurs to me that i have been so involved in ther rollercoaster of life that i've lost some focus on my spiritual life. i borrowed TOO BUSY NOT TO PRAY by bill hybels from a friend, mostly because he told me it did make a difference in how he focused on his prayerlife.

now, i don't subscribe to the belief that joe blow or bill hybels or rick warren can tell me how to have a relationship with Jesus. i think they can give me pointers or make suggestions or present observations, but not show me in black & white on a page how to do that. so, i'm simply praying that God will show me. i do, however, think this book will be thought-provoking, whether i agree or disagree. & that's of importance to me as life is ever-changing.

speaking of change. life has settled down somewhat. i'm moved into my new place & 3/4 unpacked. the remainder waits for unpacking once the contractors are done with their various & asundry tasks around the house. & awaiting the move-in of my new roommate(s) at the end of june. the "(s)" was in refrence to chloe-the-wonderdogazelle" who will be my roommate of the fourlegged variety. she's spiffy.

eric arrives on wednesday & we have time planned together for a zoo trip & various visits around town to let him get acquainted with raleigh. not to mention us spending some much needed time togther. it has been almost three months since we looked across a table at one another & (more importantly) since i got a hug or three.

i imagine that life is about to get busier. this time i'd rather be buckled up for safety.

LEXI had a great idea to do artist cards. she had only a few actually submit cards, but what was submitted were EYE CANDY.

must give a shout-out to one of the submitters, DAVIN. he posted several of his pieces at the balcony & i find FOR NOW IS THE TIME is spiffy, but the LYSTRA ALBUM ILLUSTRATIONS are my favorite with the color & flow both captivating & mesmerizing.

sometimes a girl needs a good laugh or three. especially when you've been in phone hell with the wake county district court. i found ETIQUETTE HELL to be of use in passing that time while waiting. i believe that etiquette hell has to be a step above phone hell in the purgatory level thing of catholicism.

but that is beside the point.

so, i got a speeding ticket back in april & was given a court date of june 14. given that the officer gave me a break by giving me the ticket for 9 over, & since it wouldn't effect my insurance points, i elected to pay the stinkin' $110. i mailed the cashier's check ("no cash or personal checks or bloody bits, please") (i might have made up the bloody bits portion of that) last week.

i spent one & a half hours (that's 90 minutes or 5,400 seconds for all you bozos) in phone hell trying to reach a live person at the traffic court to simply verify they received this payment. they have horrendous hold music. it sounds like creepy b-movie tracks with sicko bob hacking in the corner with his cigars somewhere amidst the wheezing horns & 80s keyboard. they also miraculously cut off their message everytime it got to the point where it was supposed to tell you the estimated wait time left for you.

please continue to hold. your call is very important to us & we recognize your time is very important to you. in order to better assist callers, it is sometimes necessary for us to put your call on hold. your call will be answered in the order it was received. your estimated hold time is [STRANGE CUTOFF NOISES] [cut to b-music with sicko bob].

i'm guessing they couldn't say that my hold time was 83 minutes & 21 seconds since i'd likely go ballistic.

of most interest is that the traffic & criminal court matters are all handled throught he criminal district court. thus, i was apparently on hold with convicted felons. since i was close to livid while waiting on the phone, i wonder what fitty-one cent & puffy-mc-pop-a-cap-in-yo-ass was thinking. most likely something i won't repeat.

all that to say, i finally reached latonjaah (yes, that's how she spelled it) who confirmed that my payment had been received & would be applied. i wanted to tell her to say hi to fitty-one cent for me & to tell him i vacated the phone line immediately upon receipt of my information, but i thought better of it.

the DIRTY DISH has it's newest issue up online. as always, sarah BRINGS THE THOUGHT-PROVOKING INTELLECT, PAIGE PONDERS PETS (alliteration, it's what's for dinner), & there's an interesting anonymous article about . THAT SORT OF SWINGING.

dig it.
(the mag, not the swinging, perv!)

drinking through colored straws makes everything taste better. for reals.

apparently MY POST AT RELEVANT confused adoring fans who demanded an explanation. i think it's pretty self-explanatory in that thread that eric is my pseudo-suitor. that's our term for the uncertainty of what we are to one another, although for lack of better terms we have used the words boyfriend or girlfriend as a quicker way to explain the situation.

suffice it to say that eric-the-terrible will be in raleigh on wednesday, june 15, exactly 9 days from today. he'll be staying with me for a week or two until he gets into his own place by july 1. nothing like being thrown into the fire from day one, eh? we'll get the opportunity to actually spend more time together with no travel restrictions, no phone restrictions, no email restrictions & the like.

what twists & turns that relationship takes remains to be seen. as it is now, i'm just looking forward to a hug or three. & of course lectures from dr. butler as he preps for his zoological grad studies & research.

so there you have it. it's o-fish-ul.

tap, tap

is this thing on?

i have an announcement. i have moved. exactly 1.2 miles up the road from my old house to the new house. for the record, i don't recommend moving memorial day weekend ever again.

still attempting to get settled amongst all the renovation work. i still don't have a closet. well, technically i have a closet but it doesn't have all the shelving units & special thingies in it. my landlord (also my new roommate's dad) has been promising it's installation since friday. to his credit he has been working his arse off, but still. i am essentially living out of too many rooms to count & have little unpacked. the office is full of non-officey things like paint. & fans. not fans for me, but electrical fans. fancy!

finally hooked up the new computer last night & it works. so does DSL. or at least it did last night but not this morning. so more to deal with tonight.

& then i can breathe. or not, considering i have some nasty cold infection virus thingie. seksy.

but, i am alive. that's what counts, n'est-ce pas?