random sass & musing™

i wonder if etiquette is about being especially nice or if it is about treating people as you want to be treated. take for example our breakroom at my office. 150 adults in my firm & i'm guessing maybe half have some sort of manners. i just went into the kitchen to get a cup of ice water. i was confronted with aan entire stack of cups that had some sort of weird tomato sauce splashabout on it. this was lying beside a small fort of crumbs & an empty straw wrapper.

YOUR MOM DOESN'T WORK HERE. for serious, people.

look, it's a nappy d festival!

"WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's most famous export".

gimme your tots.

to pass the time, some friends have all been passing around links for personality tests. i don't put stock in many of them, except perhaps the myers-briggs indicator. however, even that has been changed online somehow. the results of my online myers-briggs were somewhat different than i typically reflect in results i've taken the myers-briggs on paper.

one of the links provided a color test which was susprisingly accurate. don't laugh. i would typically make fun of people believing such an online test could give accurate readings of their so-called personality type from simply clicking on the pretty colors. but, i submit that you should take THE COLOR QUIZ & see what you think.

my results:

Your Existing Situation
Volatile and outgoing. Needs to feel that events are developing along desired lines, otherwise irritation can lead to changeability or superficial activities.

that desired lines comment hits home mostly because i am an admitted control freak. i fear losing control of things & of people. this has always been one of my biggest downfalls in romantic relationships - the fear of losing control of my individuality to another.

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. Her control of her sensual instincts restricts her ability to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow herself to merge with another. This disturbs her. as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; she feels that only by continued self-restraint can she hope to maintain her attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for herself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.

heh - that standards thing comes up often, sometimes unexpectedly. i subconsciously believe that others should maintain the same standards of beauty, loyalty & honesty to myself. i have high expectations & i can be belligerant about them.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants. Insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic, but needs reassurance and encouragement. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

there's that nasty word, "restrain" of demands & hopes. that internal battle of choosing how i surrender my full control over those things. taking offense is admittedly a downfall of mine & something that can contribute little a discussion or debate. strangely i can separate out my thoughts & be an excellent mediator for others but when it comes to the matters of my heart, i'm quick to raise my defenses.

Your Desired Objective
Seeks affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Desires an intimate union, in which there is a love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust.

who doesn't?

Your Actual Problem
Needs to achieve a stable and peaceful condition, enabling her to free herself of the worry that she may be prevented from achieving all the things she wants.

Your Actual Problem #2
Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.

bada bing, bada bang, bada boom.

"To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."
Helen Rowland
1875-1950 American Journalist

apparently the compatibility for long-term between eric & myself has not followed such guides. whether this can work out remains to be seen. time alone & apart from one another is in order.

frustration.

i could bore you with details or simply say that right now i have desires to simply have a hot bubble bath & to stare woefully at my bathroom walls through a veil of tears. why are we humans so fallible & why do we rub raw one another's emotions so?

interesting read on hugh hefner's contribution to society, morality & the sexual revolution. there is a boy's club in which GIRLS ARE NOT ALLOWED in all ways but one.

it's hot as hell outside. it's that humidity that suctions to your body, enveloping you in a steamy wrapper. kinda like a vietnamese spring roll, only not as odiferous. i hope.

friday has arrived. i think fridays are the best because they signify the beginning of the weekend. fridays are rarely really crappy days because you can tell yourself that after working an eight hour day you will have some rest & recuperation. i look forward to actually going home, answering to nobody, not having to be anywhere at a specific time. i am free. in that freedom i'll be finally getting things up on my bedroom wall. it's the little things, people.

on another note, i've been studying the idea of unity within the body of Christ. you know the drill -- the review of spiritual gifts. according to all the commentaries i read on 1 corinthians 12, paul (supposedly) specifies that spiritual gifts are for the benefit of those within the body, the believers. i don't get that. nowhere in those verses do i see a specific referenace to them being for "the body" specifically. i see the following:

1 corinthians 12:7 in various versions:

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.
(new international version)

But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit (A)for the common good.
(new american standard)

The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others.
(contemporary english version)

And to each hath been given the manifestation of the Spirit for profit;
(young's literal translation)

the only version that states specifically that it is for the church is the new living translation:

A spiritual gift is given to each of us as a means of helping the entire church.

it strikes me as odd. i recognize that spiritual giftings are given upon becoming a believer, but how are they to only be used for the benefit of the body? are they limtied to that use but with some sort of spillover outside the body?

right now i'm reading oz guiness's book, THE CALL. admittedly, i did so under recommendation from eric & after we were looking for something we could read together & discuss. i was hesitant at first but have found great things only in reading the introduction & first few chapters.

i need to figure out that purpose because spinning my wheels does nothing but make ruts. i don't like that nor do i like the word "ruts".

this is cheesy but you will like it. or else.

TEN random things about me
01. i have a cup on my desk holding various writing instruments. it says "like i care" on it.
02. i am flypaper for freaks.
03. i need my diet coke or diet dr. pepper in the morning or i'm not a nice person.
04. i'm a freak about what sorts of pens i use to write.
05. i hate raw tomatoes.
06. i can't make a switch to an ipod because i like cd coverart way too much.
07. i clap with my left hand on top rather than my right.
08. my roommate has a 6 pound minature gazelle named chloe. i like her.
09. i am an only child.
10. i snap with my fourth fingers rather then with my third.

NINE ways to win my heart
01. love God & have a walking faith.
02. be random, yet centered.
03. surprise me with an unexpected token of your affection.
04. make me laugh & liberally use sarcastiwit.
05. make me a mix CD with songs that have a range of meanings.
06. be a gentleman.
07. make a commitment.
08. be respectful, honest & witty.
09. let me be me.

EIGHT things I want to do before I die
01. travel europe & research family there.
02. fall in love.
03. leave a legacy.
04. make a difference.
05. use my gifts for God's glory rather than mine.
06. marry a man & have a partnership toward obtaining life-goals together.
07. raise children.
08. be a back-up singer, doo-wap girl for blues or gospel.

SEVEN things that make you happy
01. shiny things.
02. antique shops & flea markets.
03. the smell of coffee.
04. reading outside in that perfect 75 degree, balmy weather.
05. the negative space in wrought iron pieces.
06. curiosity & learning.
07. making fun of people.


SIX things that get me mad
01. stupid people.
02. slow people.
03. my own oversights.
04. people mistreating & disrespecting others.
05. people whose "opinions" consist of regurgitating other's opinions.
06. extremism.

FIVE things I'm afraid of
01. ferris wheels.
02. missing my calling.
03. living life alone.
04. my parents' aging.
05. falling short of my potential in life.

FOUR of my fave items in my room
01. my blue willow plate hanging above my bed (a college graduation gift from a woman who graduated from my college a full thirty years before me & who received it on her gradtuation day).
02. solomon.
03. my headboard & nightstand that were crafted by my very own daddy.
04. my circa-1930s dresser with french serpentine front that i bought from an antique mart & refurbished with help from my dad. there are some good memories in that piece.

THREE things I do everyday
01. pray.
02. partake of music goodness.
03. evaluate my current state.


TWO things I need to do right now
01. draft discovery responses.
02. finalize preparations to teach home group tonight (on unity in the body).


ONE person I want to see right now
01. eric.

summer days are supposed to be lazy. i haven't had much lazetime lately, as i'm sure my sporadic blogging has proven.

this past weekend sarah, eric & i headed to her grandparents' river house in deltaville, va. it's the same house we went to for my birthday celebration, as well as for the girls weekend in april. the town of deltaville is bordered by three bodies of water: the rappahannock river, the piankatank river, & the chesapeake bay. the weather held out reasonably during the days with buckets of rain & thunderstorms in the late afternoons & evenings. however, that did not deter much of our pool time wherein i got crispy-fried burned to a crisp. we wiled away the hours swimming, fishing, crabbing & boating. we were out sunday morning on the boat at 7 AM & returned around 1 PM with 70 fish in the coolers. it was eric's first saltwater fishing experience & he seemed to quite enjoy himself.

the weekend came at a good time for me as i'm trying to reevaluate some things in my life. for the last six months or so i've run the gamut of satisfaction & frustration with life. i took a FRANKLIN COVEY TIME MANAGEMENT SEMINAR last week. while it was intended to be for work purposes, i found that much of the principles will be as/more helpful in managing my life in general. it also made me realizes there are some things i really need to work through in order to determine my true desires, goals & expectations.

at 30 years old i feel i should know these things. to an extent, i do know them. but i'm having a hard time pinning them down & actually achieving them. i always thought that by this age, i'd have my lifepath set. however, that's not the case. i'm trying to yield to God in all of this but i feel as if He's taking his sweet time. patience has never been one of my virtues but i am learning it more than i'd like to admit.

eric continues to enjoy raleigh. we enjoy our time together but it's been an adjustment period in determining the outcome of our relationship. we are two very different people & at times the compromise factor is draining to us, not to mention that we are fearful of changing ourselves solely to suit another person. there are questions of whether this is a long-term relationship of compatibility. right now prayers & thoughts are about the only way to navigate through that period of questioning.

otherwise, all is right with the world. God is faithful.

i am a wayward blogger. but i am alive.

i found THIS BLOG POST of great interest. i don't recall seeing anybody ever describe their relationship with the church as abusive or moderately linked as abusive, but this is intriguing. with thanks to SCLIB for her link to that bloggery. read & tell me your thoughts.

in other news, i'm leaving early today for da rivah. good times. it would be better times if NEWPORT NEWS hadn't screwed up & sent me THE WRONG ITEM (just the bottoms, mind you. it's cute, yes. but i'm not planning to head to a topless beach anytime soon.) now i'm arguing with them over sending my PROPER ITEM.

what is with me & swimsuits lately? the problem? my swimsuits are too big since i've been losing weight. that's a good thing. however, wardrobe malfunctions are not a good thing. my ORIGINAL SUIT had a wardrobe malfunction with it's strap when i was on my boat outing with coworkers.

but it shall be replaced soonly. or else i'll have to tie a ski-rope around my waist to keep everything up. i'm just sayin'.

i hear london calling.
a day late & a dollar short but God still hears prayers without time limits, eh?

pray for the victims - that they may feel comfort.
pray for the leaders - that they may have wisdom.
pray for the terrorists - that they may learn justice.

just pray.