random sass & musing™

psalm 19:12-13
who can discern his errors?
forgive my hidden faults.
keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
then will i be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

i've had the strangest last few weeks. thoughts on life experience -- past, present and future -- are plaguing me constantly. i'm not one who second-guesses my thoughts or actions much. i'd prefer to make the correct choice at the time rather than feel upset for a choice later.

yet, i consider the course life has taken, the ups and downs, highs and lows, and i wonder ... is it possible to have missed a step along the way? is it possible to remain blameless (yet recognize the consequences) to our actions? i'd say there are even just now things i'm dealing with, hidden faults that are coming to surface now that i might even have never considered a part of my character years ago.

i don't object so much. i like who i am, although of course i recognize my weaknesses that need work ... tremendous work. i had a friend today tell me that he recognized i was happy, but not that i was content. he sensed that relestlessness that i can't seem to hide so well these days. were someone to ask, i'd easily say there's nothing i have to complain about in my life. i have a home, a job, a car, my health, family & friends, ambition, character, and potential. most of all, i have a character i know to be shaped and molded by God. but at the same time, i wonder ... had this moment happened that much sooner or later, then where would i be? had i built that relationship with this person, would i be here? had i gone on a whim on that trip with this person, would i be there?

no matter because here is where i am for now, not for always. if the complacency overtakes me, then there's a problem!

This entry was posted on 09 June 2004 at 6/09/2004 09:07:00 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.