this past weekend was good in many ways, stresful in some, but true blessing. i attended
vintage's women's conference, although admittedly i was attending with some trepidation because it has been a rocky road in planning for this event. however, it will become an annual event & from the likes of what people had to say, it is something many of the women desire.
robyn henk (of
saddleback church in california) led the conference sessions while we vintage women led small group discussion sessions (on the particular sessions led by robyn), as well as a couple of breakout sessions (on the general topic of women's relationships).
robyn had amazing stories to share about her & her husband's lack of ability to create children together (basically, had they been with other people, they could have conceived but their chemistry alone did not allow for conception), despite powerful desires since childhood (for both) to become parents. they ended up adopting six different children from an array of diffeernt countries, many of them battling debilitating physical, emotional & mental issues. it was reassuring to me that she raged with God over how things might not have fit her ideal plan for how things were to proceed. that is me on so many levels right now. sometimes i'm content to know that i'm going to deal with undesireable circumstances, but most times i'm angry with God for what is happening.
facilitating two discussion groups allowed me the opportunity to get to know some more women from all walks of life & stages of life. it reminds me that often we as women really need to reconnect with other females, to be mentored by those who have dealt with the issues we currently are addressing & to learn from those who may be at a stage in life we've already gone through, but bring a fresh perspective to things. it's uncanny how females connect in a way that is simply different from connecting with men; not better or worse, just different.
we reviewed one of my favorite biblical passages on women. the
proverbs 31 woman is a myriad intrigue. it reminds me that as women we are quite complicated creatures, something that undoutedly never escapes most men's observations. the multi-dimensional image that women have in being wives, mothers, lovers, entreprenuers, household managers, investors, supporters, encouragers & humourists is abundantly clear. we accomplish much but it seems we are increasingly competitive about these accomplishments.
in the small group of about 12 women, ranging in age from 20 to 68, we each shared things that may prevent us from forging close relationships with other women, as well as what is most beneficial about these relationships when we do form them. it was such a dichotomy to see how many of the 20-something women cited competitivenss & catiness as one of the biggest barriers to a desire to form close female relationships. the 50-something plus generation were astonished & baffled by the idea of competition. we had a hard time explaining the idea of this competition as they didn't experience competition in the same way or perhaps the semantics weren't lining up. eventually we came to the conclusion that our competition now between women is often fueled by our sense of obligation to living up to the privileges that came from so much of our foremothers hard labor to break the glass ceiling in careers & to be taken seriously in life as a competive person, despite the breasts attached to our bodies. it's very odd the mix of smarts, sex & sensuality that the modern woman must embody & how very carefully we must maintain the ratio on those same areas. leaning too much toward one or the other can yield reference to you as a librarian label or a whorish reference.
following closely behind the competition issue was the lack of good female influence early in life (especially in the formative years), mainly from women who lacked good relationships with their moms and/or observed their moms having damaging relationships with other women. these are not light things. as women, our emotions dictate much of our life. they contribute often to how we act, interact, & react. often one damaging relationship with a female friend can stand head & shoulders in our mind above the nine other healthy & productive relationships.
on the other hand, it was encouraging to hear how many women realize the value of those female relationships. there were tales of comraderie, intuition, empathy, sympathy, & unspoken nuances that prevailed. i think it was a reiteration that our female relationships are of great importance to us & can overcome the harsh reality of the unfortunate female relationships if & when we make the effort for that to happen.
i think, however, it would be amazing for it to actually happen.
can you imagine the results?
