the fall weather always makes me reevaluate everything. maybe it's the change in the weather. or that crispness in the air that tells you something big is around the corner. or the leaves that change overnight to a completely different color, as if they are chameleons set to camoflauge them against the elements. or it's the fact that my birthday was five days ago & it's human nature to reevaluate life's happenstances at that time.
what have i really done in thirty-one years of my life?
i could name a list of milions of small things, but not any huge thing. i can't say that bothers me entirely. i don't think God places us here only to do the big things. impacts are usually made over time & with gentleness, until we've left an imprint on something & not even realized it. i can easily guess that twenty-five years from today i'll be remember exactly the big stones of my life at the age of thirty-one.
so, if i assess the progress of my life thusfar, i can see the impacts i've made, but only if i squint. i've accomplished a bachelor of arts degree in political science from A SMALL LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. i've moved from THE PLACE I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN AS HOME & have now lived successfully on my own as a (somewhat) functioning adult HERE. i've INTERNED in the nation's capital, meeting a variety of people from all walks of life. i've dabbled in various sorts of law as a paralegal. i've become active in MY CHURCH. i've made amazing friendships, some from my childhood to my college days & some in north carolina. some of those friendships even cross the boundaries of old & new, converging to be in the same town as me, having been that way since we were kids. i drive a PLAIN OL' CAR & miss MY VERY FIRST CAR. ah, nostalgia.
i wouldn't say my life is mediocre, but i would say i don't think i've fulfilled my potential.
i go to work & produce ... something. i visit with MY BOYFRIEND. i visit with friends whose websites shall remain nameless because they (a) don't have them or (b) don't use them. i attend a church where i talk a lot about community & i fall short of fulling reaching it. i have committed my life to a God who accepts me as a i am, but longs for me to change, to improve, to evolve, to become.
i'll get there.
what have i really done in thirty-one years of my life?
i could name a list of milions of small things, but not any huge thing. i can't say that bothers me entirely. i don't think God places us here only to do the big things. impacts are usually made over time & with gentleness, until we've left an imprint on something & not even realized it. i can easily guess that twenty-five years from today i'll be remember exactly the big stones of my life at the age of thirty-one.
so, if i assess the progress of my life thusfar, i can see the impacts i've made, but only if i squint. i've accomplished a bachelor of arts degree in political science from A SMALL LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. i've moved from THE PLACE I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN AS HOME & have now lived successfully on my own as a (somewhat) functioning adult HERE. i've INTERNED in the nation's capital, meeting a variety of people from all walks of life. i've dabbled in various sorts of law as a paralegal. i've become active in MY CHURCH. i've made amazing friendships, some from my childhood to my college days & some in north carolina. some of those friendships even cross the boundaries of old & new, converging to be in the same town as me, having been that way since we were kids. i drive a PLAIN OL' CAR & miss MY VERY FIRST CAR. ah, nostalgia.
i wouldn't say my life is mediocre, but i would say i don't think i've fulfilled my potential.
i go to work & produce ... something. i visit with MY BOYFRIEND. i visit with friends whose websites shall remain nameless because they (a) don't have them or (b) don't use them. i attend a church where i talk a lot about community & i fall short of fulling reaching it. i have committed my life to a God who accepts me as a i am, but longs for me to change, to improve, to evolve, to become.
i'll get there.
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on 03 November 2005 at 11/03/2005 12:16:00 PM.
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